Six Tips to Support Your Child’s Mental Wellness and Prepare for the Start of the School Year
Heading back to school is always a time of transition, but this year the changes will be much more far-reaching for most of us. Not only are parents and students being asked to make sense of a whole new set of back-to-school rules: we’re also having to cope with high levels of uncertainty—the fact that there are still so many unknowns.
It’s also becoming increasingly clear that heading back to school is going to look very different for each of our families, depending on the needs of the people living in our households and what’s happening in the wider community. It’s hardly surprising, then, that we’re having to spend a lot of extra time preparing ourselves and our children for the start of school this year.
To support parents and caregivers, we’ve pulled together a Back-to-School Tool Kit for Mental Wellness with information and resources to help guide you in your own decision making as a parent or caregiver. As part of the tool kit, here are six tips to support your child’s mental wellness and help them prepare for the start of the school year.
TIP 1.
Shine a spotlight on what is still within your child’s control as opposed to focusing on what’s not.
As your child prepares to return to school, they may be feeling like there is little to nothing within their control. This can leave a child feeling helpless and discouraged. A helpful way to deal with this is to help your child to identify areas where they still have some control.
If You are the Parent of an Elementary-Aged Child
Look for ways to give your child the opportunity to make choices. It could be something as simple as deciding what they might like to wear on the first day of school or what foods they’d like to bring for lunch that first week. Or, help them choose 20-second song they can sing while they wash their hands. You could also help them to make a list of safe games they would like to play at recess.
If You are the Parent of a Youth/ Teen
Encourage your teen to develop an at-home workspace that is their own. A spot to work when they are doing online learning and a way to keep themselves organized. They can be allowed to control what it looks like and what is in it. This could mean posting a calendar to keep themselves on track, and/or putting things where they like. This does not need to be a large space but it needs to be theirs.
TIP 2.
Recognize the comforting rhythm of routine.
Children find routines reassuring. They provide a comforting and predictable rhythm to daily living. And, in these uncertain times, that element of predictability is especially welcome.
If You are the Parent of an Elementary-Aged Child
Give your child an opportunity to become familiar with their new routine before school actually begins. Beyond getting up at a particular time, getting washed and dressed for school, and eating breakfast, even little people need to include some COVID-wise strategies into their daily routine, such as reviewing and remembering the new rules and policies of heading back to school. You could help them checking their PPE supplies, or pick a song to sing while hand-washing.
If You are the Parent of a Youth/Teen
Ask your teen what their morning routine will be and if they will need anything from you. By asking, you encourage their independence and can offer help should they need it. It may be beneficial to write down any commitments you have both made for specific routines.
Children find routines reassuring. They provide a comforting and predictable rhythm to daily living. And, in these uncertain times, that element of predictability is especially welcome.
If You are the Parent of an Elementary-Aged Child
Give your child an opportunity to become familiar with their new routine before school actually begins. Beyond getting up at a particular time, getting washed and dressed for school, and eating breakfast, even little people need to include some COVID-wise strategies into their daily routine, such as reviewing and remembering the new rules and policies of heading back to school. You could help them checking their PPE supplies, or pick a song to sing while hand-washing.
If You are the Parent of a Youth/Teen
Ask your teen what their morning routine will be and if they will need anything from you. By asking, you encourage their independence and can offer help should they need it. It may be beneficial to write down any commitments you have both made for specific routines.
TIP 2.
Recognize the comforting rhythm of routine.
TIP 3.
Help your child to learn about and understand the new rules of heading back to school.
Information is power. The more your child understands about the policies and procedures that will be in place in the classroom, the more confident they will feel about heading back to school.
If You are the Parent of an Elementary-Aged Child
Talk about the importance of turning to trusted sources for information as opposed to relying on rumours or half-truths. Who is saying something is just as important as what that person is saying. Seek out age-appropriate information and review this information together. It will be helpful to have them practice new pandemic prevention measures, such as putting on a mask or hand-washing and encourage open conversation about it. (See pandemic measure section for further details.)
If You are the Parent of a Youth/Teen
Since teens will all be expected to wear a mask, have significantly different schedules than in the past, and be more independent in learning management, having all the information is especially important. Go through the new rules with your teen and ask them to identify which changes most impact them and the family. The more you can involve your teen, the less it will seem like a lecture. Clarify with them what these changes mean and identify some places you can help out if they need it. Also, ask them how can the family talk about what is or isn’t working well? (See Pandemic Measure for further details).
TIP 4.
Encourage your child to ask lots of questions.
If You are the Parent of an Elementary-Aged Child
Help your child to make a running list of their biggest questions about returning to school. Encourage your child to be as specific as possible in formulating those questions (ie, for older elementary kids: “Where should I put my mask if I have to take it off?”) because that will make it easier to find an answer. Then, as you find answers to these questions, encourage your child to jot down the answers so that they can see that not everything is uncertain or unknown. We actually have answers to a lot of important questions. Your child will find that reassuring.
If You are the Parent of a Youth/Teen
Encourage your teen to list questions they may have, both big and small; focusing on framing the question in as concrete a way as possible. They may want to rate them by importance to them. Encourage them to search out answers for anything that is available, focusing on what they feel is important. (Try places like the school/board website to start with.) If they need help getting started you could share neutral questions like “Will smaller classes mean I still get to do drama?” “What will my new schedule look like?” “When will I know which cohort I am in?”
Encourage them to find out what they can, and discuss the information, and why those are the sources that they trust.
If You are the Parent of an Elementary-Aged Child
Help your child to make a running list of their biggest questions about returning to school. Encourage your child to be as specific as possible in formulating those questions (ie, for older elementary kids: “Where should I put my mask if I have to take it off?”) because that will make it easier to find an answer. Then, as you find answers to these questions, encourage your child to jot down the answers so that they can see that not everything is uncertain or unknown. We actually have answers to a lot of important questions. Your child will find that reassuring.
If You are the Parent of a Youth/Teen
Encourage your teen to list questions they may have, both big and small; focusing on framing the question in as concrete a way as possible. They may want to rate them by importance to them. Encourage them to search out answers for anything that is available, focusing on what they feel is important. (Try places like the school/board website to start with.) If they need help getting started you could share neutral questions like “Will smaller classes mean I still get to do drama?” “What will my new schedule look like?” “When will I know which cohort I am in?”
Encourage them to find out what they can, and discuss the information, and why those are the sources that they trust.
TIP 4.
Encourage your child to ask lots of questions.
TIP 5.
Help your child to identify a safe person at school.
If You are the Parent of an Elementary-Aged Child
Speak to your child about the ways they can share any concerns they are having. Here is a moment to role play in an age appropriate way. “Mrs. Lake, I am not sure what I need to be doing right now, could you help me to make a plan?” or “Mrs. Lake, I am frustrated and I need help, could you please help me?” Help your child to select a few phrases that are comfortable, and practice them.
If You are the Parent of a Youth/Teen
A teen is going to need to know when to ask for a break as opposed to when to ask for help. Ask them to write out some signs they see in themselves when they are frustrated and/or falling behind. Encourage them to think about how they could manage those moments or decide to ask for support. Remind them that we ALL need to ask for help at times. If possible, remind them of times they help you when you are frustrated, overwhelmed or unsure. This is a wonderful activity to do together and to compare what different family members find frustrating, overwhelming, etc and what strategies you each use.
TIP 6.
Call on friends, peers, and classmates to help your child transition.
Friends, peers, and classmates help to create a sense of normalcy for the return to school. Encourage your child to reconnect (virtually or at a distance) with a few others from their school before school begins. If your child struggles with social interactions and/or peers check out tips for encouraging and supporting friendships during the school year.
If You are the Parent of an Elementary-Aged Child
Ask your child to identify a couple of friends they would like to talk to about their summer, before school starts. Arrange (or monitor them arranging) some form of communication about their summer to allow a chance for sharing. This reminds them that they are part of a community!
If You are the Parent of a Youth/Teen
Check in with your child that they have a couple of people they can speak to about their summer and whom they expect to share their ‘news’ with at school. If possible, confirm that they have spoken to that friend before school begins and again soon afterward.
Friends, peers, and classmates help to create a sense of normalcy for the return to school. Encourage your child to reconnect (virtually or at a distance) with a few others from their school before school begins. If your child struggles with social interactions and/or peers check out Tips for encouraging and supporting friendships during the school year.
If You are the Parent of an Elementary-Aged Child
Ask your child to identify a couple of friends they would like to talk to about their summer, before school starts. Arrange (or monitor them arranging) some form of communication about their summer to allow a chance for sharing. This reminds them that they are part of a community!
If You are the Parent of a Youth/Teen
Check in with your child that they have a couple of people they can speak to about their summer and whom they expect to share their ‘news’ with at school. If possible, confirm that they have spoken to that friend before school begins and again soon afterward.
TIP 6.
Call on friends, peers, and classmates to help your child transition.
More Resources
Look for tips, resources and information to help parents and caregivers.
Mental Wellness and Pandemic Prevention
Parenting in a Pandemic
Professional Resources
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone.
If you are a parent/caregiver worried about your child, or a young person looking for help yourself – please reach out. Our network of child and youth mental health centres has 4,000 professionals ready to help children, youth and families with free counselling and treatment. We provide care in person, on the phone and virtually. No problem is too big or small.
Find your closest child and youth mental health centre.